Bush vs Mexicans

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SaBxb8ZBQk
you'll piss yourself!

So long and thanks for all the funk

R.I.P James Brown.

I'll miss you and your freebasing, wife-beating ways!

Bastard flyers

I just can't understand why these travellers at the airport are bitching!
Extreme weather is extreme weather - what the fuck are the airports supposed to do?? There isnt an airport in the world that could handle this fog.
Heathrow has set up marquees, put people in hotels, provided blankets, sleeping mats, hot drinks and food, childrens toys...and still flyers are whining. "I dont want to come on holiday and have to stand in a queue"
Oh really? Thanks for those words of wisdom - I'd never have guessed! Usually when I go on holiday I like to stand in a queue at the airport for a few days...maybe travel agencies should start asking customers if this is a requirement or not?
I can grumble and complain with the best of them but when we start calling for people to be sacked because of the weather we're taking the piss.
Get a grip and realise that shit happens!
Bastard flyers!
PS Obviously the real answer is that we need more than two runways at Heathrow (all Euro ones have 3, 4 or 5)...but I bet then it would be the same bastard flyers turning into tree-huggers and complaining about the bastard effect on the bastard environment.

Monoglot Europe: post-post English imperialism?

The European Union is adding 3 new languages to its official languages list next month, bringing the total of official European languages to 23.

What a charming celebration of diversity and a heart-warming tip of the hat to cultural difference. Diversity in language is a beautiful and emotional connection to history and nation. Languages are a stamp of heritage, intellectual and political development, a window into the values and aesthetics of a culture.

Languages cost the EU €1.1 billion last year in translation and interpretation costs. Is there not an opportunity-cost argument for balancing heart-warmth with pragmatism?

Everyone is learning English – in Europe and beyond, a quarter of the world in fact. How long can Brussels cling to its Francocentric inspired linguistic diversity policy before it all goes belly-up? What really is the point of translating everything into Irish? Would the Romanians not rather have more jobs, than EU documents in Romanian?

Am I being a complete Anglophone Anglophile? – well, I would probably be just as happy if we adopted French or German as our ‘working’ European language – at least that would make us self-obsessed English learn more languages, which would be a great thing for global cohesion and development overall! I think it is arrogant, stupid and sacrilegious that foreign languages are no longer compulsory in schools after the age of 14. However, for the sake of pragmatism and money well spent, English makes more sense as like it or not, it is also the first language of the USA as well as being the first choice for a second language world-wide: 20% of 5 year olds in Japan are enrolled on English language courses!

Correspondingly, why are we in the UK spending so much of our well-earned taxes on translation services for our new nationals that can’t be bothered to learn English? Even worse, why are we spending so much of our well-earned taxes on translation services for our OLD nationals that can’t be bothered to learn English? – the Bangladeshis have been here for over 30 years, we are well into the third generation! Why are we still pandering to their self-absorption? A friend of mine asked me only two weeks ago to help him find a translator to put the slogan “join our basketball club” into Bengali. But he was targeting teenage girls; how does such an exercise promote integration or engagement? It serves only to divide us further.

Two thirds of all EU documents are now drafted in English. This is a sad legacy of imperialism, but let’s look forward I say and focus on integration, development and cohesion. Let’s divert translation funds into providing language classes for all, English for all, and other languages for English speakers. There are many ways to celebrate diversity, spending money on vain translations is not one of them.

Why are Jews at the 'Holocaust Denial' conference?

Should these guys be lambasted for attending what has in the main, been promoted as an event that denies the holocaust or should they be commended for at least representing a Jewish view regardless of how narrow that may be?

Scanning the media, it seems most believe the conference to be a network of racists but the attendance of this small group of Orthodox Jews is a strange one. They have clearly stated they do not question the holocaust but believe the exploitation of it to justify the state of Israel as being against key Jewish teachings.

According to them, the Talmud teaches that believers may not use human force to create a Jewish state before the coming of the Messiah and therefore in the interests of lasting peace, should be dismantled.

Surely it's better to be part of the debate than just accuse these guys of treason?

People's Court?

We've all been bitching about ridiculous lengthy court battles, police inability to deal with issues immediately etc.
I saw some ex-UN negotiator General sort out that problem down in Billericay between the Gypsies and Residents.
Is there some way we/someone could set up a peoples court that citizens could pay a small amount to have their issue decided (they have to accept the decision, a la Judge Judy)?
Any ideas?

Was Diana murdered?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/news/newsbeat/061214_diana.shtml
I know we don't really give a shit on a personal level but we cant have MI6 bumping people of like the Al-Fayed suggests.
So: Do you believe the conspiracy theory that Diana/Dodi were murdered?
My vote: No.

You Asked:

You asked me once what it was I want
but what I need is more prescient

I need to live your love expressed
comfortable, painful, beautiful

I believe that we are meant to be
I need you now and always to know

Life with any other is a lie
Built to hide the truth impossibly.

For a time I rudely attempted
To love enough for the both of us

But on comatose reflection
I discovered I had drowned your voice.

I am ready to hear you again
Over the din of my strident heart.

I apologise for each hurdle
That we are oft forced to overcome

Though I treasure each experience
As growth has flourished in we through us.

Destiny proffers a range of choice
For our exertion to exploit.

I ask us to seep through the iced block
And sink into the blissful depths

Where our effulgent cores beat in step
With good playfully bound in passion.

To achieve a time where we construct
Dreams to reality for all

Until with age we are surrounded
In libraries of truth now practiced

Telling stories to our abundant
Grand-children, eagerly drinking bliss.

In love, remorse, and calm gratitude
Flowering in your rich hearts' garden.

Sincerely,

Condoms 'too big' for Indian men

This is embarassing!!

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.
The study found that more than half of the men measured had penises that were shorter than international standards for condoms.
It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6161691.stm

Sports personality of the year

First of all. I am not a Royal hater. I don't believe that we should abolish the Royal family. Yes there are some dubious, in-bred, Nazi sypmathising, syphilitic elements - Prince Philip - but all-in-all, they are net contributors to this county - in other words American and Japanese tourists are obsessed with them. Anyway, sat down to watch TV tonight, and saw that Zara Phillips has won sports personality of the year 2006. What a joke. i really couldn't believe it.
Lets break it down:-

1. Sports. Does riding a horse really constitute a sport. Is horse riding just a rich man's pastime?
2. Personality. She has no personality. She is posh though - does that now mean you have personality. I have hardly seen her on TV, read about her in the paper etc - granted i do not subscribe to "Horse & Hound".

So how did she win????

My vote would have gone for Monty or Calazaghe, or even the girl who is the best female cyclist in the world.

So, it seems that if you have rich parents, a lot of free time, a stable and some big horses, with lots of servants, then you have hit upon the magic formula of winning the Sports Personality of the year!!

Big Brother on Second Life

Best quote of the week: my friend GS on finding out about Big Brother on Second Life:

“How futile.”

I don’t want to dampen anyone’s fires, I know many people get a great deal of enjoyment from Second Life, World of Warfare &c.

But the pointlessness of sitting at your computer, watching 10 avatars, confined to an imaginary house, in a virtual world…

Am I missing something? Is there some level of entertainment (ironic or otherwise) that can be achieved through such depths of futility…?

Black Meaning Good?

White Christmas is the classic story of love.
A horror film called Black Christmas is released soon.
I remember writing once about someone being raised to believe that all we consider good was actually evil and vice versa.
Are we ever going to have to sort out that same situation with regards the terms black and white?

Sick Murderers, Rapists, and Labour

Under Labour, the average time spent in prison by murderers and rapists is 6 years. This is down from 14 years before Labour came to power.

These are people that should be killed, let alone free after 6 years. People get their Doctorates in about as much time and sacrifice. Actually, half of them probably do degrees while inside. Probably a cheap way to get your school done.

Kill em all I say.

Successful oppression: minority rules.

Is the key to successful oppression of a populace to be an oppressive minority?

It would appear that when a majority seeks to oppress a minority, there is either a mass slaughter and genocide (think the Nazi Germany, or Turkish Armenia or Hutu in Rwanda), or there is a constant and consistent state of "insurgency" as in Turkish Kurdistan, or Quebec in Canada.

When the minority succcessfully oppress a majority, it is either stable on, or it is finished off. Think British Empire, Sadam's control of Iraq, or the Alawites in Syria, Tutsi's in Rwanda.

It seems like it's a little more fair when the minority are in charge, and they have to walk a little more carefully.

Up with minority dominance.

Hearts and minds

Demos will publish a paper today critiquing the government’s approach to dealing with relations with the ‘Muslim community’, and it’s inability to win hearts and minds within this community. What a phlegmatically libertarian way to discuss matters of the heart!

British society and culture today are a result of a very particular series of cultural, intellectual and EMPASSIONED history – for example, women have equal democratic rights because many fought and died for this cause; wealth is redistributed to the poor because citizens collectively evolved an affinity to utilitarianism and compassionate capitalism; universal education is available to all because we agreed as a nation that children have an explicit right to literacy and an expansive childhood; universal medical rights arose from a belief that every human life is valuable regardless of economics – for that matter, regardless of race, class, sexuality, gender.

Our society and all its material and political benefits are a result of the VALUES that we have developed over generations. It is the social manifestation of the very condition of the hearts and minds of British peoples.

The point to this observation is that when migrants enter the country for particular benefits including political/human rights, universal education, free healthcare, increased standard of living – and especially when they come from nations that have not themselves taken the long and painful road to achieving the values that induce said benefits, it is extremely important that they subscribe to these values if we want our nation to continue SUSTAINING these values! Sadly, government funded Demos-eqsue reports such as above make prostitutes of heart and mind, rather than salute them as the goddesses of nation building. Any prospective marauding infidels need to salute them too if they wish to share in our nationhood.

It is one thing for migrants to practice their imported cultures, activities, rituals et cetera, but when they criticise the society we have created, the values that Britain IS, is this not a substantially dangerous practice to merit more than a beleaguered public relations report? Think about it, when an entire ethnic minority community (please understand and excuse my generalisations for the sake of brevity) and in particular, Muslims, prevent their daughters from going to university, when they exclude women from politics, when they shun integration, when they sexually objectify women, when they refuse to learn the state language, when they segregate by caste and gender, when they reject our economic systems, when they promote xenophobia, when they refuse to vote; why can we not state clear and loud, these values and behaviours are not acceptable here? That this behaviour threatens what is in OUR hearts and minds and consequently, the very foundations of our nationhood?

Politicians and public figures need to stop pandering to these communities through some misguided notion of tolerance; a word which was already offensive and obsolete when I was still juvenile and seems to have got alarmingly back into fashion. How can the British government even negotiate with a community that has not a single woman diplomat within its primary representative body, that effete misogynist that is the apparent voice of Muslims? We need to say it as it is – if groups want to behave in a way that threatens our values, it is not only our right, it should be our CHERISHED civic duty to rescue our nation, by driving out the blighted nation-breakers.

Football chant?

We have a referee in the Championship with a thalidomide arm.
Are we allowed to chant "You've only got short arms"?